"Fly like a butterfly."

"So I'm fired right now?"

"Why would you leave me like that?"

"I hope Peyton's not watching."

"Heads up guys, this one's coming back the other way."

"I can tackle better than you idiots."

"At least Santa is coming next week."

"First this, next I have to deliver gifts all of next weekend."

"I know, I miss Jay too."

"We scored more points than the offense."

"Well this is new."

"And we still have the first pick in the draft."

"Somewhere in a bar Mercury Morris is smiling..."

"Congrats on no longer being unemployed!"

"Trust me ladies, you want no part of this. I just get in the way of greatness."

"So you're saying Bengals eat Rams?"

"Hey everybody, he said yes!"

"It's good to see the forehead hasn't evolved."

"Haha, no you're under investigation by the NCAA."

"If Carson can retire so can I."

"I'm so happy I could stomp on someone."

"But I thought I was the biggest coach in the NFL."

"8-8 here we come."

"Take that devil on my shoulder."

"Ask God for a real big one this week."

"Dark Side for the win."

"Come to the Dark Side... after Elway cuts you."

"This is what Phillip looks like when he throws."

"They're supposed to be collapsing now!"

"What do you mean you don't remember how to count fingers?"

"You need a better quarterback? Here take my card."

"I'm gonna miss that guy."

"Have we tried winning?"

"Nobody touch it. We can't jinx this thing."

"I wasn't meant for this cold Florida weather."

"Just a teeny bit more."

"Everybody wave to my bro Jimmy Claussen."

"I got my catch for the day."

"Did you book that tour of Watergate for later?"

"Someone unglue us!"

"Who dat?"

"Next year I'm signing with the Rockettes."

"Someone hold my used Kleenex."

"Do I really have to play with these idiots again?"

"That guy wants to concuss me!"

Circle of Tebow

"Thanks Tony, I'm really gonna enjoy your job next year."

"Suh stomp!"

"Surprise buttsex!"

"Who in the hell is TJ Yates?"

"Come here you soulless bastard."

"And thank you for giving me the easiest schedule in the league."

"I'm telling you, with 2 minutes left he's gonna march it straight in."

"I'm pretty sure if we win I'm going to hell."

"You're sure you can't manage this game a little better?"

"It's taking all the will power in my body not to beat you down right here Wisenhunt."

"If it's all the same with you we'll just keep winning."

"Isn't it about time we stop sucking?"

"Even Santa didn't give away this many jump balls."

"Woah dude, get that thing out of my face."

"Re-do?"

"I'll just be taking this and your city's pride."

"For the last time, tell God I make the calls around here."

"Out of my way, I have miracles to perform!"

"You sure you don't want me to heal that?"

"Don't tell Chris, but I think he deserves a raise."

"Defense, come and get it!"

"Shockey stop staring at the creamsicles!"

"You guys know any good tattoo parlors around here?"

"Thanks kid, it's just good to know I'm not the only one in this division with no soul."

"So who the hell is this Rodgers kid?"

"It was step, step, pirouette, step."

"I am not a crook!"

"You're absolutely sure we need to play a quarterback?"

"I never shoulda gone to Boston College."

"Okay so if Coach see his shadow, 3 more weeks of me at QB."

"There's no cheese fries on this menu."

"So I said, 'Caleb, I love you this much.'"

"You wanna play quarterback?"

"Caleb you rock! This is the first time the home crowd has ever chanted for me!"

"Damn you Madden."

"You'd cry for me at a press conference, right?"

"Nope, nothing here about beating good defenses."

"Goodell's definitely gonna fine us for this."

"Everybody run!"

"Stop! Please! Hasn't Clay done enough?"

"There's no way that's the score... Challenge!"

"No, it's okay. Tell Clay I'm finally ready."

"Next time we'll give you a 3 second head start."

"What now?!? We didn't even late-hit him!"

"I just through up in my mouth a little."

"Please don't let Clay come near me. He's like a blonde Jerry Sandusky."

"And that's Jerry Jones, he was at the first Thanksgiving."

"Okay now Dez you tackle that cheerleader!"

"Oh my gosh! I held a snap down!"

"You boys think you can shake without getting into another fight?"

"Please don't hit me for this."

"Dalton, you sure play with a lot of heart for a kid with no soul."

"That pylon looks scary, better just dive in front of it."

"Now what was it that I used to do in times like this?"

"Why are all the defenders behind me? Am I going the right way?"

"You sure you don't want to play? I'm sure Curtis wouldn't mind."

"So constapated. Can't show weakness."

"Fantasy dance time!"

"I'd be unemployed without you."

"Freedom!"

"Can I get another turkey over here?"

"See that Plax? They didn't go off in my pants."

"But every time I go to kick it Coach just pulls the football out from underneath me."

"Whoo, I'm exhausted. I'll just be going back to the sidelines now."

"Do I really have to watch my teammates?"

"We need this many field goals today."

"This guy's making me look good."

"Oh my God! I pooped a football!"

"That's more like me."

"Yeah, and maybe if you were as tall as him I'd still like you."

"This isn't what I was dreaming..."

"Sharing is caring."

"I know, isn't it just the cutest hat you ever saw? It came with a matching sports bra."

"I don't care what God said, we called an option left!"

"Intangibles it is then."

"Has this play worked with any team you coached?"

"That's why we don't let Tim throw."

"You keep this up and we're eliminating the forward pass too."

"Megatron who?"

"I can't quit you."

"Is there anything there that says how to keep them from scoring?"

"My calculations...all for nothing."

"Who do I have to f*ck for Luck around here?"

"Why don't you ever throw me to the ground like that anymore?"

"Nuh-uh! I know that wasn't your finger Clay!"

"Don't retire until after this play, got it?"

"You've inspired me to retire until they trade me out of this hell hole."

"I see you and your money are doing well."

"Aw man, benched again?"

"Ewww! My hand almost touched the ball!"

"Oooh, that looks like a Grossman throw."

"You remember what to do with this, right?"

"What's the fun in playing when their QB doesn't even have a soul to crush?"

"Hug it out."

"Come get some Wisenhunt!"

"What? Everyone else was doing it."

"Orange you glad I didn't wear my shoes!"

"Quick, get up before people start tweeting!"

"Don't make me angry, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry." "No, but my DBs would."

"Role reversal!"

"What is this strange looking brown orb? Is Vince hurling feces again?"

"Aww man beaten by another "special" quarterback."

"Don't feel bad, Eli actually thinks he's dreaming about your team."

"If you let me go I'll retire, I promise!"

"Everyone get ready to tackle, this one's going the other way."

"You just got iced! Matty iced!"

"My defense is scary, like this!"

"The best ex-convicts won."

"You got it Jay! No picks this time."

"Somebody else take a turn with this thing."

"I don't know how you go out there year after year and watch such awful teams."

"You know what Jim, I'll take it from here."

"Your hair inspired me to be a crappy NFL quarterback."

"Praise Tebow!"

"I gotta get me some Pizza Hut."

"I'm bringing Rexy back."

"I'm gonna eat you."

"I miss prison."

"Loserville, population Colts."

"So who wants to score this time?"

"That's the guy who benched me in fantasy."

"Peekaboo!"

"So even if we both lose, the Colts still get Luck?"

"You catch that Oklahoma-Texas game Colt?"

"This offense so does not need a quarterback."

"I've been working on my impression of you, let me know what you think after the game."

"Stafford's having a pretty good game by my standards."

"Now we just sorted out one fight, so please be delicate shaking Jim's hand."

"What's the ruling on a post-game hug?"

"Don't drop the soap... I mean the ball"

"I'm telling Roger on you!"

"Is it dead?" "I don't know, touch it." "I'm not touching it, you touch it."

"You guys are going to block him, right?"

"I will not be beaten by another diabetic!"

"No, our quarterback cries more!"

"Do all you guys from New Jersey make your helmets sticky?"

"My precious!"

"Jerry wants a quarterback? I'll give him a quarterback."

"Why so serious?"

"And now a moment of silence in memory of the Colts offense."

"So this is why Peyton's been crying all year."

"This could be the highlight of our season!"

"Is that a pylon in your pants or are you just happy we're winning?"

"Ha ha! You can't catch us!"

"Superman dat!"

"Are you up there Sean? It's me, Drew."

"I still look more like a QB than Beck in this outfit."

"So I extend it out like this, and then what?"

"I'm not very good at this part Mike."

"Coach what does 'first place' mean?"

"I knew picking my number based on my college conference was a bad decision."

"Sir it is now part of my job to inform you that your son may have sustained a concussion for the past dozen or so years."

"This'll probably be your longest run of the day."

"Doesn't anyone believe in me anymore?"

"This is so much cooler than Tebowing."

"Thanks for watching over me Tim- I mean God."

"Look! Someone actually threw the ball near me!"

"Woah, Steve! Playing 2 weeks in a row? What happened to you man?"

"I whip my hair back and forth."

"I didn't mean I'd carry the team literally."

"Okay, I'm on my knees, now where's Clay?"

"It works for Tebow..."

"So you're saying I should throw it that way?"

"You know, sometimes I wish you were more like your brother."

"I thought you were supposed to be the gentler brother?"

"So I should throw that way?"

"Take me to your bullpen."

"Ray, quit crying. It's not your fault Joe's throwing the game away."

"You don't shake like your brother, do you?"

"This ref is a witch!"

"Up, up, and away!"

"They got me right in the ovaries."

"I honestly thought I was gonna be raped. He had the craziest look in his eyes. And at one point he said, 'Let's get it on.'"

"No one ever appreciates my pumpkin costume."

"Come back here and tell me where Grossman went!"

"Oh, and Jesus, please stop asking me for advice."

"Aww, Tim looks so cute in his quarterback costume"

"Boo! Did I scare you?"

"You know you aren't using the word 'hood' correctly there, right?"

"I should've known it would be Ugg weather."

"And I just want you to know, I'm going to do disgusting things to your wife."

"Frank I wouldn't shake his hand if I was you."

"Isn't there some kind of computer over there that says we're winning?"

"500!"